This nonsense has to stop!

It is no secret that I want to move closer to family. This year, my one and only sister, that lived only one mile up the road, left me:( I won't lie, it has been emotionally very hard. Not only is she my sister, but she was my best friend. We would have loved to hop in our own moving van and follow them straight to SLC.
However, for whatever reason, Dave and I feel like we are where we need to be with our family right now. Even though I know this, it is hard to swallow at times. My therapy? KSL classified home searches, complaining to my husband and friends, researching Utah school districts, mulling over scenerios on how to get rid of my house - uber positive, right?
Today is the day that it is going to stop. I owe it to my husband, friends, children and extended family to stop this nonsense. I decided that I am going to stop focusing on what I can't have, and start focusing on what I can and do. My new therapy? I am going to write at least one reason I am grateful to be where I am every day.
Day 1

We have the most beautiful bike trails literally right outside my back door. I love riding through them especially with my kids and MOTHER - who, thank you very much, flew all the way to Washington with my father to spend the last two days with us for no other reason than recreation.

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Baby Charlotte

My official due date was August 17th or 15th depending on who you ask. Both Eden and Eliza were born exactly 13 days before their due date. So, when I went in for my 38th week appointment Monday morning, August 4th I reminded my doctor that not only do I come early but when my water breaks, I deliver lightning fast. He checked me. I was a 2 and 80% effaced. His last piece of advice was to rush to the hospital if I started contracting at all due to my VBAC risk. He also joked that he would most likely be seeing me next week...my contractions started 7 hours later... Driving Eliza to harp lessons they were 5 minutes apart. Came home for dinner at 7 and then varied from 5-7 minutes. Contractions stopped at 10:30 but woke me up at 12:30. Dave and I decided to go to the hospital at 1:30. Despite the intense pain, the nurses check revealed that I was still only a 2. She hooked me up to the monitor, and for one hour I suffered through some intense contractions spaced at exactly 1.5 minutes ...

Let's just call this paybacks

Dave got the heads up this morning that we were going to have a couple of "special" talks on reverence today as the Stake Presidency was a little concerned about how loud our sacrament meetings have become. I thought ~ great, let's prep the kids ~ I told them that they were to be on their best behavior, no snacks, no toys, no talking, you get the idea... The meeting went pretty smooth until the Bishop got up. He very tenderly started talking about how important it is that we teach our children about the sacrament...it was at that moment that my family fell a part. Eden and Luke started fighting and Liza and Tucker started screaming---did I mention we were on the second row? I grabbed Luke and put him in a body hold and motioned for Dave to get Tuck and Liza out. Dave left with Liza and Tuck (so I thought...) and next thing you know, Tucker is up on the stand running back and forth behind the Bishop. My sweet friend sitting next to me jumped up to get Tuck, but he of cours...

Lesson Learned

Have you ever been in a grocery or Target type store with all your kiddos and had a lovely employee tell your children to "please sit down in the cart!"? Well I have...several times. Each time I politely smile and say sorry, but all the while my brain is filled with smart aleck comments like "hey, last time I checked, I was their mother," or, "lady it's either standing up in the cart or pulling product off your shelves-you choose!" I have been sufficiently humbled. This morning, like all mornings, I put Eliza in her high chair to get her out of my hair for a moment so that I could make breakfast. She immediately climbed out and was about to stand on the table when she lost her balance and fell to the floor. I raced over to pick her up and noticed that while she was trying to scream nothing was coming out of her mouth. I picked her up and she started seizing, her eyes rolled back into her head and then she went limp. No words can describe the thoughts...

The Collings Family

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