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Let's just call this paybacks


Dave got the heads up this morning that we were going to have a couple of "special" talks on reverence today as the Stake Presidency was a little concerned about how loud our sacrament meetings have become. I thought ~ great, let's prep the kids ~ I told them that they were to be on their best behavior, no snacks, no toys, no talking, you get the idea...
The meeting went pretty smooth until the Bishop got up. He very tenderly started talking about how important it is that we teach our children about the sacrament...it was at that moment that my family fell a part. Eden and Luke started fighting and Liza and Tucker started screaming---did I mention we were on the second row? I grabbed Luke and put him in a body hold and motioned for Dave to get Tuck and Liza out. Dave left with Liza and Tuck (so I thought...) and next thing you know, Tucker is up on the stand running back and forth behind the Bishop. My sweet friend sitting next to me jumped up to get Tuck, but he of course once he saw her, he started running the opposite direction (still on the stand behind the bishop.) Not wanting to chase him, she gave up.. he then stopped running and started yelling to his girlfriend Anna on the front row about "his train named Thomas and will you come and play with me." Now mind you, the Bishop had no idea what was going on behind him and was still speaking to the young families in the ward about how important it is to keep your children quiet.
I released Luke from his hold and headed to the stand to catch my monkey. As I got up there he started running again. The congregation was now laughing hysterically - which clued the Bishop in that there was something entertaining going on behind him. He then stopped his talk and turned to watch me tackle all 45 pounds of the kid, grab him by the sweater and drag him out the side door. As I was leaving (tears streaming down my face) the Bishop very jokingly said "don't hurt him" HA HA HA!
As I was dragging him down the hall contemplating his punishment, a small voice (that sounded just like my mother) whispered "paybacks, honey, paybacks"
I cried a good cry today...wondered what on earth I could do to be a better mother. The answer? who knows. I am not perfect, so far from it, but I am sick of beating myself up every day for imperfections.
Tucker looks so much like a Collings but is really just a Bianca in a boy's body. I was such a handful (for many years) and now realize how much energy was spent trying to tame me. My sweet mother often remarks that those silly quirks and outrageous personalities once tamed turned into some of our greatest strengths. So instead of trying to break the wild horse ~ I will love him. I will listen to him. I will play with him. I will hold him. I will cry for him. I will pray for him. What more can one really offer?

Comments

The Dillon 6 said…
If it helps, Bianca, I missed everything up until I heard the Bishop say, "Go get him." I could see the pain on your face, and I am so sorry! I think 90% of us were only laughing from relief that it wasn't US up there.

You ARE a good mother ~ and you will raise your kids the best that you are able.

(and really -- with 130+ kids in our ward under the age of 12 WHAT do they WANT from us?!)
January 25, 2009 at 11:24 PM
P Kirkwood said…
Oh, Bianca. It seems as though you are suffering from a parent's curse. I remember my mom saying "I hope you get one just like you." And sure enough, I did. And he is my hardest. We've had our bishopric talk to us about keeping our sacraments reverent, too. And I always feel as though they are speaking directly to me. What I've always thought, though, is that Heavenly Father understands. He chose these children to be ours for a little while. He knows that deep down we are trying our best. He is not laughing at us or criticizing us. He is loving us, through all of our good times and bad, just like we do for our children. Hopefully, you can think of that next week, when everyone at church takes their opportunity to tell you how "cute" Tucker was. I always cringe when someone tells me how "cute" Evan is when he sings the Star Wars Imperial March really loudly during church. Then I laugh and say "Yeah, he came with his own theme song." Hope you have a good week. Pam
January 26, 2009 at 8:32 AM
Natallee said…
oh you are such a sweet mom! I have often thought of placing my boys on the street with a sign around their neck, saying "Needs new home". And I have seriously thought about sending them off to military school.
But you are right, when all is said and done all we can do is love these little ones and pray that someday they will grow out of the wild and craziness! But by the time that happens, we will look back and miss them as little boys, who say the cutest things and who love us unconditionally and completely!
Being a mom of boys has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life- so I completely understand- especially since my boys come from the same gene pool. So hang in there! I am on your side and I am still trying to figure all this out myself. So if you do figure out how to tame them- let me know!
January 26, 2009 at 10:28 AM
Natallee said…
All that being said- I bet looking back- this will be a hilarious story to tell! I couldn't help but chuckle at your description of the situation- but I also understand the trauma it causes a mother!
January 26, 2009 at 10:30 AM
Kerry said…
I was hoping you'd blog about this...I thought it was awesome! It is now a Glacier Park Ward legend that will be talked about for years. The whole incident endeared me to you and your family even more. Maybe you should allow the snacks and books, etc. :) I look forward to watching you and your family for years to come...we love you guys! :)
January 26, 2009 at 11:07 AM
Michaelynn said…
I had several experiences like this in Minnesota. Emma liked to get up and do ballet twirls with her friend Maggie at the front of the chapel. She also liked to go up front and sit on the steps leading to the stand. She just hated being in that pew! I have also experienced the complete and absolute embarrassment you felt when Noah used to run up there and giggle like mad when we chased him. A couple of times the Bishop caught him and held him for me and then I had to walk up there in front of the entire ward to retrieve him. So fun!
January 26, 2009 at 6:22 PM
Unknown said…
My parent's extreme payback??
I have three boys who do nothing but egg each other on. I think the same thing as you describe over and over and over again - what am I doing wrong?? Turns out I'm doing everthing right because I have happy kids who just love to embrace life. (it drives me nutty and makes my house filthy).
I'm planning on a trip to SEA at the end of Feb. I hope this time I can see you. Chase is walking!!
January 26, 2009 at 9:10 PM
Carson Calderwood said…
That was awesome! Wish I could of seen it and as it was said earlier, just glad it wasn't us. That's because it usually is. It makes us feel better seeing great parents like you guys with great kids have things like that happen as well. :-)
January 27, 2009 at 2:22 PM
Marisa said…
I was going to say exactly what Carson said :)
January 27, 2009 at 4:30 PM
Anonymous said…
Bianca,
I love this story, it brightened my day today. I could picture the whole thing. It will be one of those great memories that you can tell Tucker about when the same thing happens to him. I feel the same way of not being able to live up to the expectations that I have set for myself for my kids. I had a similiar thing happen in a ward in Ohio. You have a great bishop and I am sure he wanted to chuckle himself a bit. Your a great mom with great kids, and each one of them have a unique and wonderful spirit.

You really are a great mom and this really did make the sunshine on such a dismal day.
January 28, 2009 at 3:18 PM
Anonymous said…
You are the most wonderful mother I know! I felt so bad when I saw you up there. I wished I could snap my fingers and switch places with you! We love Tucker and we really appreciate all the spunk he has in him! He will go so far in life! Just wanted to let you know that we love you guys!
January 28, 2009 at 9:20 PM
Laura said…
I remember when my dad was bishop a person in the ward complained to him about all the kids and thier noises. And he responded by saying something to the effect of we don't have "cry rooms" with windows like some churches do for a reason. Children need to learn, and the best way to do that is to have them in the chapel and feel the spirit.... even if it's only for a breif moment here and there. Kids will be kids... you take them out when they act up and bring them right back in. My mom said the way she got us to behave when we were kids (she had to sit by herself with 7 kids b/c my dad was up on the stand... brave woman!) was to do "equal time". I guess for however long we acted out at church or had to be taken out we had equal time when we got home to sit in time out.
February 2, 2009 at 2:36 PM
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